Mother’s Day has always been cumbersome to me. I actually hate Mother’s day. You see, in my family, there is this expectation that a meal be prepared, activities planned and do whatever our Mother wishes. It is all so forced – and brings a lot of work for me as I generally like to take charge. This year, is a little different.
After relocating, this will be the first year my mother will not have any of her children to physically celebrate this holiday. Of course a phone call will be necessary, however I can imagine the lack of presence to be somewhat (how do I say this?) – weird. I was just talking to my mother – Lor, and realized that all of the cumber of mother’s day is what I really enjoyed about it. It takes a lot of work to prepare a nice brunch or celebration to honor someone. Anyone who has ever hosted a party or event will certainly agree. If you are like me, nothing but the best will do, so there is much more effort involved.
As one of my friends, Katharine Hepburn said about buying furniture, “When you buy it, it’s great. You get enormous amount of pleasure out of seeing it, and you never think about how much it costs. That’s the one thing you really forget.” This is true with entertaining for a person or an event you really care about. All of the effort put forward, one never thinks about the cost or all of the work it takes. When I’ve done things because I wasn’t really passionate about it, the only thing I think about is all of the effort and money it took to complete it. Most would find this true.
Kids circa 2010
My siblings and I have honored our mother fairly spectacularly in the past couple of years. I’d like to take all of the credit, but could never. Two years ago, we had a fabulous brunch outside in front of the pond my father made. It was picturesque. The brunch was compromised of baked chanterelle eggs a friend gifted me, granola, fruit, quiche, and a cake. This was an extreme effort for all of us.
The lemon cake was actually made by my mother who accidentally substituted salt for the sugar in the recipe. – It was terrible. This was meant to be as you should never ask your mother to make her own cake for such an event.
Last year, we collaborated to deliver beautiful “cadeaux” of Halibut en Papillote. A summer soup, along with a lemon bar for dessert was served. We later planted flowers in preparation for my youngest sister’s wedding. Again, the extremely cumbersome Mother’s Day was delivered.
But here’s the thing, after all of the work/money/energy, my siblings and I never thought anything other than the amount of joy we received when celebrating this holiday. We were pleased because we knew we delivered the best possible experience for our mother. We knew that every effort was put forward and it was never thought about again. The point of the matter is that we showed up, were thoughtful and cared about what we were doing.
I remember my mother telling me as a child, “If you are going to do something half-way, don’t do it”.
This year is not cumbersome, but rather troublesome. I’d like to sit with her at church, perhaps bring her a flower or prepare an exquisite brunch.
She’ll be fine, however, the cumbersome Mother’s Day is certainly not an issue I have any longer.
Sometimes we don’t appreciate things until they are absent.
You will never think about how much it costs.
Happy Mother’s Day Lor.